Why shadow work matters (and 100 journal prompts to start your practice)

Like seeing a dentist or eating healthy food that tastes like dirt, shadow work has a (well-earned) reputation for being essential to your wellbeing…but also kind of hell. Being a productive member of society is hard enough without finally reflecting on why one specific neighbor seems to bug you for no apparent reason, why you doomscroll for hours each day instead of starting that YouTube channel you’ve been talking about, why you give a knee-jerk “yes!” to every invite knowing you don’t actually want to go. We’re all human, right? Should we just live and let live without trying to “perfect” ourselves?

Maybe so, but also, shadow work isn’t about perfecting yourself: it’s ultimately about practicing self-compassion. If the world only sees the curated, photo-ready version of you, all of your repressed guilt, negative emotions, and limiting stories you tell yourself live deep in the shadow realm of your psyche.

Allow them to fester unchecked and they can wind up, as my therapist says, “driving the bus that is your life.”

Why shadow work matters

Here in the United States, our daily lives are structured to minimize introspection. The average American office worker wakes up Monday morning to the promise of 40-hour workweeks with limited vacation time, almost no maternity leave, and comical job security; plus long commutes and possibly family responsibilities mean precious little time to relax and reflect on how we feel and why.

Throw in, you know…everything going on in the world, and carving out time for meditation, building a mindful lifestyle, or regular shadow work feels like a luxury.

But shadow work is more crucial than you think. Without a fully-integrated you in the driver’s seat, you’re less able to make informed decisions about the things you truly care about in life and more susceptible to “just following orders.” That’s no way to live out your days.

Also, an integrated self is better quipped to show up for your family, your community, or even your whole region, building a solid foundation on which we can found mutual aid projects, put other compassionate people into political offices, and do the work to create a better world.

If that sounds farfetched, do you think the people pulling bitcoin scams on millions of desperate people on the regular are living integrated lives? Or is the “money at any cost” monkey in their heads get louder and louder until suddenly it was out here, driving the whole damn bus?

By doing “the work,” you’re helping yourself and everyone around you be more compassionate — or at the very least, less shitty — people.

The mental health benefits of shadow work pays off:

• Greater self-awareness: Over time you’ll grow to understand and work with your triggers, so you can make healthier choices for yourself and out in the world.
• Better relationships: Knowing what you believe and stand for helps build healthier boundaries. Healthier boundaries lead to clear, compassionate communication and more genuine connections.
• Emotional resilience: Integrating your shadow self develops the psychological flexibility you need to maintain a clear head and heart, even during challenging times.
• Less anxiety over time: Hidden fears and repressed emotions can cause mental distress. For some, that distress can become the backdrop of our lives and start dictating our choices. Acknowledging the heavy feelings you’re trying to avoid can give you the clarity you need to talk yourself down from emotional spirals, dissociation, or zombie-walking through life.
• More self-acceptance: Confronting repressed emotions and past traumas helps release the invisible burdens you’ve been carrying, then commit to treating yourself better, so you never have to carry them again.

How often should I do shadow work?

Answer: Whatever you can handle emotionally.

Like any internal art, the goal is consistency. Not everyone is built for daily deep dives into the darkest recesses of their soul, but if you can hack it twice a month, or even once, go for it!

These prompts are designed to help you explore your inner world, face hidden parts of yourself, and cultivate compassion for your entire being. Take your time with it. Maybe write on one or two prompts in a sitting, followed by a long period of talking to friends and touching grass. Maybe conveniently schedule your shadow work before or after a therapy appointment.

No one is grading you. There’s no way to do this wrong. Commit to slowly but surely learning more about yourself, at your own pace.

Ready to get writing?

100 journal prompts for shadow work

Exploring your shadow self

1. What parts of myself do I find hardest to accept? Why?
2. What traits in others irritate or trigger me? Could these reflect something in myself?
3. When was the last time I felt ashamed? What caused it, and how did I handle it?
4. What fears do I try to ignore or avoid?
5. What childhood memories make me uncomfortable or upset?
6. Who do I envy, and why?
7. What lies have I told myself to feel better?
8. When do I tend to self-sabotage, and how does it manifest?
9. What behaviors do I criticize most in others?
10. How do I act when I feel threatened or insecure?

Understanding your emotions

11. What emotion do I struggle with expressing the most?
12. When was the last time I felt overwhelmingly angry? How did I handle it?
13. What makes me feel jealous or possessive?
14. How do I deal with disappointment?
15. What situations make me feel powerless?
16. How does guilt show up in my life?
17. When do I feel most rejected, and how do I respond?
18. What are my go-to distractions when I feel uncomfortable emotions?
19. What does sadness feel like in my body?
20. When was the last time I allowed myself to cry?

Healing past wounds

21. What message did I internalize about being “good enough” as a child?
22. Who hurt me in the past, and how can I begin to forgive them (or myself)?
23. What unmet needs from childhood still affect me?
24. When was I made to feel unworthy or invisible?
25. What experiences shaped my sense of self-worth?
26. How has my relationship with my parents or caregivers influenced my current relationships?
27. What recurring patterns or cycles do I notice in my life?
28. How do I deal with feelings of abandonment or rejection?
29. When did I feel most misunderstood as a child?
30. What limiting beliefs about myself were shaped by past experiences?

Reclaiming power and authenticity

31. What does being authentic mean to me?
32. What part of me do I hide from the world?
33. When do I feel most empowered?
34. How do I handle constructive criticism?
35. What would I do differently if I felt no fear of judgment?
36. What dreams have I suppressed, and why?
37. Who or what makes me feel small, and how can I reclaim my power?
38. What boundaries am I afraid to set, and why?
39. What do I fear would happen if I truly stood up for myself?
40. How do I define success for myself?

Building self-compassion

41. How do I talk to myself when I make a mistake?
42. What would I say to a friend who was feeling the way I feel right now?
43. What am I proud of, but afraid to admit?
44. How do I celebrate my achievements?
45. What do I love most about myself?
46. How can I show myself more kindness and care?
47. What would my life look like if I fully accepted myself?
48. What does self-love mean to me?
49. How can I honor my needs without guilt?
50. What daily practice could I implement to nurture self-acceptance?

Navigating relationships

51. How do I show up in relationships when I feel vulnerable?
52. What do I expect from others, and how realistic is that?
53. How do I handle conflict with loved ones?
54. What relationships feel draining, and why?
55. How do I contribute to toxic dynamics in relationships?
56. What boundaries do I need to strengthen in my life?
57. When do I feel most loved and supported?
58. How do I respond to criticism from others?
59. What role do I often take in group dynamics?
60. Who inspires me, and why?

Understanding your fear and resistance

61. What am I most afraid of losing?
62. How do I respond to change or uncertainty?
63. What would I do if I wasn’t afraid of failing?
64. How does fear hold me back from reaching my goals?
65. What habits or patterns am I afraid to let go of?
66. When do I resist help or support from others?
67. What scares me about being fully seen and known by others?
68. How do I deal with fear in my body?
69. What are my greatest fears, and are they based in reality?
70. How do I avoid taking risks, and what does it cost me?

Embracing growth and transformation

71. What limiting beliefs am I ready to release?
72. How can I learn from my mistakes instead of judging myself?
73. What is one thing I can do today to step out of my comfort zone?
74. When was the last time I felt truly alive and present?
75. What part of me is yearning for change?
76. What do I need to let go of to move forward?
77. How have I grown in the last year?
78. What challenges have helped me become stronger?
79. What does healing mean to me?
80. What am I ready to embrace about myself?

Aligning with Purpose

81. What brings me the most joy and fulfillment?
82. How do I want to contribute to the world?
83. What values are most important to me?
84. What legacy do I want to leave behind?
85. What makes me feel most connected to my soul or higher self?
86. How do I define a meaningful life?
87. What does success feel like for me?
88. What motivates me to keep going when things get hard?
89. How can I align my actions with my values?
90. What does living authentically look like for me?

Deepening Self-Awareness

91. What do I need to feel safe and grounded?
92. What habits or patterns do I want to change?
93. What am I avoiding right now, and why?
94. How do I respond to challenges in life?
95. What does my inner critic sound like, and how can I challenge it?
96. How do I recharge my energy when I feel drained?
97. What beliefs about myself feel outdated or untrue?
98. How do I define my identity beyond societal labels?
99. What does wholeness mean to me?
100. How can I show up for myself today?